a full plate with a side of stress

Leaving aside all the things I love about the job, what I dislike the most about it is how unbalanced the workload is. I only work over the 13 weeks of semester twice a year, and although the one month-ish break in winter is a nice time frame to recharge the batteries, I get almost four months to grow idle and apathetic over the summer before the university year begins again. There is nothing in moderation. I’m either twiddling my thumbs and flirting with notions of writing a novel or redecorating my house or I’m either working around the clock with seemingly endless hours of making lesson plans, marking, classes, answering students emails, trying to manage emotional students who are irate about their marks or the course, and the list goes on. I find I have to learn to compartmentalise my life and adjust to the fact that I might have to abandon my personal life for a few months or be deprived of intellectual challenges in the others.

This semester in particular has been draining. I have two friends getting married in 3 weeks (both on the same weekend), and this is when the bachelor/bachelorette parties have been abound. I had a particularly fun night out a couple of weekends ago, but I’m honestly heartbreakingly, soul-crushingly disappointed that I have to miss out on another next fortnight due to work. I’m particularly close to this couple and they have been such great friends to The Cat and I. They’re very cool so they’re not splitting up into ‘all-boys’ and ‘all-girls’ groups, but rather, they’re having a joint weekend away in the Hunter Valley. Knowing that I would have so many events on this half of the year, back in May, I signed on to tutor 7 hours a week and assist three weekends of an intensive course so that I would give me plenty of moolah to spend on gifts and festivities. It just feels especially painful that the reason why I’m able to afford such festivities this year means I can’t go.
The Cat however, offered a few “awws” but signed on to spend 3 days in the Hunter Valley anyway. I didn’t realise it was having an effect on me until a few weeks later and it dawned on me that I was working so hard to pay for both of us, but if I have to stay in Sydney, then not only does my feline other half get to party hard, but I also have to make my own way to and from work, cook, and clean up after The Cat Who Stayed, Salmon. Needless to say, The Cat didn’t know what hit him.

And isn’t it funny that when you’re stressed, the smallest things can become life or death? Perhaps things you never would have even given a second thought to before, become laden with ulterior motives and meanings. Small ignorant or insensitive remarks sound like racism, condescension, manipulation, inauthenticity, or one-upmanship. I’ve gotten annoyed at things that I just know I’ll laugh at in a few weeks time. Several times a day, when I’m buckling under the weight, I want to throw my hands up and say, “I’ve had enough!” but you push on and it gets a little bit better.

I have avoided my blog for a while because I would have rather written this in a couple of week’s time where I am laughing about it and can frame this more like, “Oh I was so stressed before, but now everything’s peachy!” but I think every now and then, it’s not so bad to reveal a little humanity and just be honest that things really suck right now.

at last, my website has come along

The last few months of humming, hawing and mindlessly tedious coding is over!

Here is the official website and store front for Faunfare, including (in my humble opinion) a delectable design, a funky shopping cart system, and a new blog in which I will be posting more about the business side of my creative life (probably). If the thought of me talking about perfumes doesn't totally turn you off, it would mean the world to me if you take a couple of minutes of your time and help me set a good precedence by saying hi at my first blog post there, and letting me know what sorts of things you would like to read there.

I have been reading some gorgeous perfume blogs lately (Providence Perfumes, Perfume by Nature, Smelly Blog, Perfume Posse, Oh, True Apothecary!) and personally, I love how each and every one of those blogs are open, candid and authentic. But before I run off and begin breaking down my pricing or confessing how I cringe every time I hear the words "artisan perfumer", can you please let this ultimately insecure, fragile little soul know whether or not topics like that will more likely turn you off?

I have found online perfume stores before that had me pulling out my credit card until I find their blog and after drowning in their miserable diatribes about how they just can't catch a break, I'm more in the mood for a glass of whiskey and break up songs pumped at full volume from my iPod, than perfume shopping. Where to draw the line between personal and professional?